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| Вт, Июн 20, 2006 03:02pm гражданка - 6535 d back | ↑↓ |
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o Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.
o A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by
waitresses in appetizing forms.
o Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.
o For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large
drawers .
o For sale: a quilted high chair that can be made into a table, pottie
chair, rocking horse, refrigerator, spring coat, size 8 and fur collar.
o Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.
o Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair
to take home, too.
o Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.
o Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.
o We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully
by hand.
o No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will
make it really repellent.
o For Sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.
o For Sale -- Eight puppies from a German Shepperd and an Alaskan Hussy.
o Creative daily specials, including select offerings of beef, foul,
fresh vagetables, salads, quiche.
o 7 ounces of choice sirloin steak, boiled to your likeness and smothered
with golden fried onion rings.
o Great Dames for sale.
o Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.
o Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.
o 20 dozen bottles of excellent Old Tawny Port, sold to pay for
charges, the owner having lost sight of, and bottled by us last year.
o Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
o Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.
o If you think you've seen everything in Paris, visit the Pere Lachasis
Cemetery. It boasts such immortals as Moliere, Jean de la Fontain, and
Chopin.
o Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge.
Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.
o The hotel has bowling alleys, tennis courts, comfortable beds, and
other athletic facilities.
o Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.
o Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates.
Automatically burns toast.
o Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable
that lots of women wear nothing else.
o Stock up and save. Limit: one.
o Save regularly in our bank. You'll never reget it.
o We build bodies that last a lifetime.
o Offer expires December 31 or while supplies last .
o This is the model home for your future. It was panned by Better
Homes and Gardens.
o For Sale--Diamonds $20; microscopes $15.
o For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.
o Man, honest. Will take anything.
o Wanted: chambermaid in rectory. Love in, $200 a month. References
required.
o Wanted: Part-time married girls for soda fountain in sandwich shop.
o Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
o Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!
o Christmans tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.
o Modular Sofas. Only $299. For rest or fore play.
o Wanted: Hair-cutter. Excellent growth potential.
o Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
o 3-year-old teacher need for pre-school. Experience preferred.
o Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals,
and smacks included.
o Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.
o Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once,
you'll never go anywhere again.
o See ladies blouses. 50% off!
o Holcross pullets. Starting to lay Betty Clayton, Granite 5-6204.
o Wanted: Preparer of food. Must be dependable, like the food
business, and be willing to get hands dirty.
o Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue
Cross and salary.
o Wanted. Widower with school-age children requires person to assume
generalhousekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of
family.
o Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for
efficient beating.
o Mother's helper--peasant working conditions.
o Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.
o And now, the Superstore--unequaled in size, unmatched in variety,
unrivaled inconvenience.
o We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for
$1.00.
And these beauties from the radio:
o Ladies and gentlemen, now you can have a bikini for a ridiculous
figure.
o When you are thirsty, try 7-Up,the refreshing drink in the green
bottle with the big 7 on it and u-p after.
o Tune in next week for another series of classical music programs
from the Canadian Broadcorping Castration.
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| Ср, Авг 30, 2006 03:26pm гражданка - 6464 d back | ↑↓ |
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Believe it or not, the following announcements actually appeared in various church bulletins.
Don't let worry kill you -- let the church help.
Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
Tuesday at 4:00 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
Wednesday the ladies liturgy will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing "Put me in my little bed" accompanied by the pastor.
Thursday at 5:00 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All ladies wishing to be "Little Mothers" will meet with the Pastor in his study.
This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come foreward and lay an egg on the alter.
The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.
Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come foreward and do so.
The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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